Moms get a bad rap for gushing about pregnancy, cute babies and their own children.  They say things like “pregnancy is amazing”, “kids change your life”, “being a mom makes me better at everything I do.”  This gushing is followed by the most cringe-worthy question of all: when are you going to have kids?  Sure I know they mean “motherhood is crazy stupid amazing” but of course it comes out like an ultimatum to move to Waco.

Which reminds me of being in the Verizon Wireless store.  There you will hear all the same things – the blind love, the incessant gushing and the cult-like insistence that you join too – but no children in sight.  The object of this mom-like fervor?  The iPhone.

Behold its perfection

Why does everyone need to tell you how amazing their stinking iPhone is?  “You can’t imagine how you lived without it!”  Does the thing fold the laundry?  Because that’s something I couldn’t live without for one minute longer.

My husband is one of these devotees.  He goes so far as to trash my Android (which I happen to enjoy) simply for not being an iPhone.  In common conversation he now uses “droid” as a noun/verb meaning “[to reach] an unfavorable result.”

As in:
“Chloe peed through her onesie and I don’t have a back-up”
“Oh man, that’s a droid.”
or “I waited in line at Babies R Us and they wouldn’t take my coupon”
“You totally got droided.”

or my favorite: “help, something just went horribly wrong!” to which he simply replies, “DROID” in his best 1980s computer voice.

Though I defend the mom and vilify the iPhone user, I am forced to see the similarity.  We are just extremely passionate about the things we hold dear.  Even if mine is the flesh and blood of my womb and yours is a silly machine that has the most annoying ringtone of all time.  Even despite that minor difference, I now support you iPhone user and refuse to speak ill of you again.

However, like people who post pictures of their pets in outfits, there is one group I won’t let up on.  Hey!, blackberry user, 2002 called and it was using an iPhone.

I actually had one of these awesome RIM wireless versions…over 10 years ago.

12 thoughts on “iMom

  1. Your husband may not want to see my phone. It’s a post unto itself. An old-fashioned flip. I don’t text. I barely make calls. Sadly, a Blackberry would be a step up.

    • Ha! I got this Droid for my birthday last year. My last phone was a flip. No camera, no color, no apps. It had a huge old school speaker on the top. Except I did actually text. Using the T9 function. It was not pretty. Now I need to find a picture of that one. In the meantime, I get you. I totally do.

  2. Oh my god! People who dress up their pets– ridicule is the only proper response. As for iPhones, the only thing cooler than loving the iPhone is hating it. I wish I could tap into the cool cache but since I have one, it’s too late. I could really do without the dropped calls and awesome apps I am too busy (raising my children) to play.

  3. I want an app that cleans up my kitchen after my children eat – it always looks like World War III just ended. I don’t have an iPhone, and I too, tune out the adorers and start thinking about cheese, but I’d join the evil side if it could clean mac and cheese from the floor.

  4. I love this post – it’s so true! Not just the iPhone but “Mac” people in general are so crazy passionate about all their Apple products. It does get nutty. My husband used to make fun of them and now he is one of the worst of their kind, lusting after the new iPad as we speak! I love how your husband starting using “droid” for everything – “Oh man, that’s a droid.” LOL!

  5. Carinn-
    I completely agree about the fearless vs fearful kid thing. It’s so difficult. All I can say about Gavin is, just wait. One thing I’ve definitely learned is where my parenting fails, peer pressure succeeds. Peer pressure is definitely a good thing – until they’re about 7-8 years old then you start to worry…

    Soon enough, he’ll be in preschool and will want to do everything the other kids are doing. It sucks, but will just take time.

    And iPhones rule. The camera is waaay better than my other cameras!

  6. I remember when we missed those little pocket blackberrys!! We were so ticked about the upgrade because of the size. Quite ironic to think of it now. That was back when only lawyers and i-bankers had these little gems. Verse every 16 year old in 10 different colors.

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