Moms get a bad rap for gushing about pregnancy, cute babies and their own children. They say things like “pregnancy is amazing”, “kids change your life”, “being a mom makes me better at everything I do.” This gushing is followed by the most cringe-worthy question of all: when are you going to have kids? Sure I know they mean “motherhood is crazy stupid amazing” but of course it comes out like an ultimatum to move to Waco.
Which reminds me of being in the Verizon Wireless store. There you will hear all the same things – the blind love, the incessant gushing and the cult-like insistence that you join too – but no children in sight. The object of this mom-like fervor? The iPhone.
Why does everyone need to tell you how amazing their stinking iPhone is? “You can’t imagine how you lived without it!” Does the thing fold the laundry? Because that’s something I couldn’t live without for one minute longer.
My husband is one of these devotees. He goes so far as to trash my Android (which I happen to enjoy) simply for not being an iPhone. In common conversation he now uses “droid” as a noun/verb meaning “[to reach] an unfavorable result.”
“Chloe peed through her onesie and I don’t have a back-up”
“Oh man, that’s a droid.”
or “I waited in line at Babies R Us and they wouldn’t take my coupon”
“You totally got droided.”
or my favorite: “help, something just went horribly wrong!” to which he simply replies, “DROID” in his best 1980s computer voice.
Though I defend the mom and vilify the iPhone user, I am forced to see the similarity. We are just extremely passionate about the things we hold dear. Even if mine is the flesh and blood of my womb and yours is a silly machine that has the most annoying ringtone of all time. Even despite that minor difference, I now support you iPhone user and refuse to speak ill of you again.
However, like people who post pictures of their pets in outfits, there is one group I won’t let up on. Hey!, blackberry user, 2002 called and it was using an iPhone.