This caterpillar tells me Mila Kunis should fire her agent

I cannot physically leave my apartment without walking past the Gansevoort Park South hotel.

If you live under a rock (or live a Bravo TV addiction free life), you might not know this hotel is home away from home for many reality show shenanigans.  Bethenny and her friends had a girls night in one of the suites last year (does anyone else find her tedious this season?).  More recently, Ryan of Million Dollar Listing NY held his model search photo shoot in the lobby (that guy is a compelling piece of dogshit).  The most notorious of residents were, of course, the love parallelogram of Kim, Kris, Kourtney and Scott who spent their time there while “taking New York.”

As a result of such fanfare, the sidewalk outside usually looks like this:

Yes, that resourceful pap actually brought his own step stool

Today I was walking by and spotted something odd on the ground in front of me.

Hmmmm, what's this?

Now just to get you in the right mind frame, I was still reeling from having read this post where Kristine is being attacked IN HER OWN HOME by various and sundry creepy crawlers.  I have a serious phobia that one of these devil’s creatures will find their way into my ears or nose while sleeping.  I’m still shaking with disgust.

So as I step a little closer I am certain this thing will just jump up and deposit itself directly in my mouth or circle my head until it finds an appropriate place to nest in my hair.

Blister beetle? Carpenter ant? NO! It's just hoochie gear!

You can imagine my relief when I realized I was not suddenly under attack by Hardwood Stump Borer beetles.

Relief quickly turned to joy.  Do you think this belonged to a famous hoochie?  Let’s investigate.

Could it be Kim lost this eyelash while shedding tears of joy upon hearing a song written about her called Theraflu (yes, Theraflu)?

Probably not, since we know they’ve been spending their time downtown.

Anne Hathaway?

She clearly shed the fuzzy eye insects but it’s doubtful she would have left one just laying around the streets for anyone to pick up and sell on ebay.

And then I read this.

Those kind of tears would cause anyone to lose an eyelash.

First Friends with Benefits and now the starring role in Bethenny Frankel’s thinly veiled “novel”.  Sarah Marshall is officially forgotten.

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10 thoughts on “This caterpillar tells me Mila Kunis should fire her agent

  1. Oh my gosh, I am so with you on Bethany! I can’t even watch a whole episode of the show this season. Negative and abrasive is an understatement – lol! I am also very scared of the small creepy crawlies and I love how to refer to fake lases as “hoochie gear”! Mila is so beautiful, all I can say for her playing Bethany is RUN girl, run! haha – great post and you have quite the exciting life in NYC!

  2. The Gansevoort Hotel- we’ve stayed there…. Purple chandeliers, white leather chairs and interesting fireplace in the lobby….gorgeous! Great music you can feel reverberating in your chest as you enter the lobby…..Very cordial doorman who are thinking “Why exactly are you staying here?” and groups of giggling girls having a fabulous weekend who have pushed every button in the elevator just to see if someone is waiting there”. Pretty fun…..
    Having your grandson look up at the sign and say “Geema’s house!”….Perfect!

  3. I too, am petrified of creepy crawlers! One time in college I woke up to a tickle on my shoulder and instantly knew I was dealing with a tiny live creature. Upon freaking out and flicking the thing off me as fast as I could, I noticed it was one of those multi-legged thingy’s- ugh. The worst! Needless to say, little tickles in the night have sent me into over-exaggerated tizzies for sure.
    By the way, love Mila!

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