WTTM Jessica Simpson!

Jessica Simpson gave birth to daughter Max Johnson earlier this…

What?

She’s still pregnant?  Are you kidding me?

I’ve said it here before pregnancy is a long road. But Jessica really proves it.  Let’s recap the past 10 months:

 

In NYC on October 27 – visible bump

 

With the cat out of the bag, Jess thought this was a cute way to go public on Halloween

 

The fact that this hit newsstands in mid-March makes me think these photos were taken when she was about 30 weeks pregnant.  You think?

March 27. This was the bump Miss S was sporting at the time Elle was released…shopping in Beverly Hills

Looking serene, she finally ditched the skyscraper heels for some flip flops earlier this month

US Weekly is keeping close tabs on the situation and delivering important updates:

Jessica Simpson is due to give birth to a baby girl any day now, and rather than wishing for a flatter post-baby belly like most new moms, she’s more concerned about her lonely footwear collection.

“I can’t wait for the day I can walk in heels again! My feet feel homesick!” the pregnant star tweeted to her 4.9 million followers Tuesday.”

She’s opted instead for Havaianas flip-flops.

“I actually had to train myself to walk in them!”

As any good piece of investigative journalism does, reading this provoked a few thoughts:

1.  Jessica Simpson has 4.9 MILLION people who want to devour every 140 character morsel she doles out and I have to remind my husband to visit my blog.  Because a page view is a page view my friends.

2.  MOST new moms wish for a flatter post-baby belly?  Really?  They don’t wish the bleeding would end or the baby would stop crying or the night sweats would ease up just a bit?  I know I’m not normal, but I was always wishing I had a minute to brush my teeth.

3.  “I can’t wait for the day I can walk in heels again!” she exclaims, as if it’s right around the corner.  Honey, I’m still waiting.

Welcome – whenever it happens – to the Motherhood Jessica Simpson!  Enjoy the wild ride!

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15 thoughts on “WTTM Jessica Simpson!

  1. I’m amazed she took risk to walk in heels at that point in her pregnancy. I fear for my life walking in them now. But really, how did she not get all tangled up in the fabric of that red dress? I would have been splayed on the street after an ungraceful scene.

  2. I have to admit it….even with all the nonsense I love Jessica Simpson and am wearing one of her dresses for work today!! Thanks for the laughs today! 😉

  3. LOL – it does seem like she’s been pregnant forever! I remember being that huge but I was far less glamorous and my feet swelled so much, none of my shoes fit at all, I could only wear flat, open sandals for the last 2 months of pregnancy! Plus how bad my back hurt…….I don’t know how anyone can wear high heels when pregnant but more power to them I guess. I do still wish my stomach would someday be flat again but there is other stuff I worried about a lot more, especially at first. Hope she’s ready for when the baby comes and the real fun starts! But I guess that will all be the nanny’s problem. Ha!

  4. Haha, I am sure she thinks she’s cute and funny like I did at 200lbs! It’s neither, lady! It’s a long road of being fat. Here I am laughing and I just ate a chicken and waffle sandwich. In 4 months I probably be in the same shoes (not the heels, the flip flops)!

  5. I have an immediate distrust for someone who can walk in heels that high when they are that pregnant. I think there are weights hidden in that big purse to balance out the body weight. And I’m with you. A flatter belly was about #167 on my list of things I worried about, it fell way past the feeding babies, never sleeping, wishing a bottle fairy would clean the bottles and wanting my husband to be a female for the first year so that he would empathize with the fact that babies actually can’t understand logic as yet, and that they do, in fact, cry quite a bit.

    • Ah yes! I forgot how much I wanted my husband to be a woman for the first year (and even at the end of pregnancy)!! He could muster up some sympathy seeing what a difficult time I was having (especially the first time around) but nothing like the empathy I wanted. I forgot about that!

  6. “MOST new moms wish for a flatter post-baby belly? Really? They don’t wish the bleeding would end or the baby would stop crying or the night sweats would ease up just a bit? I know I’m not normal, but I was always wishing I had a minute to brush my teeth.”

    COMPLETELY agree. I think our culture has gone totally nuts with this whole just-had-a-baby-must-return-to-size-zero-immediately thing. I get it, Media, I’m supposed to think being skinny is the most important thing in the world, but holy crap, no it isn’t,

  7. You crack me up! Love this post! So now I have to admit something about her that I’ve been afraid to say out loud until now……I AM SO GLAD THAT SHE IS HUGE!!!! Isn’t that terribly un-PC and un-supportive and un-feminist of me?!!! But seriously!! MOST normal women get really big when they’re pregnant (I sure did!) and I love seeing a celebrity have a NORMAL pregnancy!! No macro-biotic diet of broccoli only….c’mon, I’m sure she’s indulging in meals that consist entirely of jalapeno poppers stuffed with cream cheese (wait….that was me). Pregnancy is hard, even if you’re famous. And you’re so right….it’s only gonna get worse 😉 He he. I’m so going to hell.

  8. A flat tummy…ha! Best of luck to you Ms Simpson. Not being a hater, but she’s clearly clueless. And I’m so with you on every page view counts!

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