WTTM Giuliana Rancic

Late last night when the news that the Rancic’s surrogate was in labor, I breathed a big sigh of relief.  Finally, a celebrity mother I could stomach!

This week has been full of some pretty grim “famous” baby “news”.

Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s ex-girlfriend is pregnant.  Who?  How am I supposed to feel about that?  Good for you for realizing an 80-year-old might not be your best shot at having a family?

And as adorable as those McConaughey children are, Camila pregnant again with a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old only gives people an easy segue into “so Carinn, now that Chloe is 18-months, are you thinking about another?”  Another what?  Another glass of wine?  Sure.  Oh you meant another baby?  Only if you’ll take the two I have now.

It was honestly looking like I would have to put Snooki on a pedestal – no, not so she could reach the kitchen counter, a metaphorical pedestal – for tweeting that she “loves nursing [her] little man” four days into his life.  Or showing us how she’s grown spiritually since becoming a mother with this gem, “#BreastPump insteada #FistPump.”  The Huffington Post even congratulated her for being a vocal breastfeeder saying “at a time when women are constantly being shamed for breastfeeding in public, it’s important to many nursing moms that public figures endorse the practice.”  I was about to take a sip of the Kool-Aid myself when you broke me of the crazy spell with news of Rancic labor via Twitter.

So thank you G, for sharing every bit of your heartbreaking journey with us; from your struggles with infertility, your experiences with IVF, your gratitude for the gestational carrier willing to bring your baby into this world.  You are what Welcome to the Motherhood is all about – putting a face to our modern-day mama struggles and letting so many of us know we aren’t alone in the rollercoaster that is the journey of motherhood.

Finally, Edward Duke Rancic entered the world last night at 7lbs 4oz.  Welcome to the Motherhood Giuliana!  Enjoy the ride.

If you enjoyed this post, please click on the juggling woman below. A click = a vote for me. How easy is that??
Vote For Use @ Top Mommy Blogs

Go out of town, get rewarded with angel children

Some of you who know me or follow me on Twitter might have heard me complaining about Ian being out-of-town on business last week.  I complained a lot.  The kids seemed to sense that something was up and they acted accordingly —  you know by treating me like a wounded wildebeest surrounded by a pride of lions.

Thoroughly prompted and prepared, Ian “graciously” “agreed” to take the family reigns for the day yesterday.  I needed a freaking break like it was nobody’s business.  So he woke up with the kids, fed them something that I assume could pass as breakfast, got them dressed and took them out to the park.  They giggled as they put on their shoes in assembly line fashion.  They happily waved goodbye to me as they headed to the playground.

Twenty minutes later I received a text with this photo:

And then this one:

Playing so nice together

And this one:

Calm, collected, contemplating how much he loves life

When they returned nearly three hours later everyone was all smiles.  What the what?

Five hours and they seemed to be more jolly and bonded than ever before.  Yet every day during the week, the moments were all about survival.  Each 24-hour cycle was a medley of meltdowns, mutinies and maladies.

Let me give you a rundown of a typical day:

1.  Bouncing on my bed as I cook those little ingrates homemade pancakes and anticipate who will draw first blood.

2.  A seven minute wordless meltdown over the shirt I picked out for Gavin.  I used the time to put together extra snacks.

3.  Throwing shoes and socks as I try to get them ready to go outside.

4.  Chloe attempting to run away from me on the street anytime I let go of her hand.

5.  Gavin insisting I hold his hand anytime I hold Chloe’s hand, which means I have to push the double stroller with my torso.

6.  After a perfectly lovely playdate and appropriate warnings that we would need to leave in X amount of time, Gavin running away from me and hiding under his playmate’s bed.

7.  Standing on the backseat of the cab on the entire ride home from said playdate.

8.  Jumping up and down in the bathtub.

9.  Declaring they are starving (grunts from the baby, high drama from the boy) exactly 8 minutes before bedtime.

10.  Further delays of bedtime by Chloe asking for another book and Gavin needing his covers and some water.  I wanted to scream “Hey, maybe you wouldn’t be so dehydrated if you didn’t demand a full blanket when it’s August and 82 degrees in your bedroom!” but instead I just fetched the requested provisions.

By 9pm I was in a pile of my own mess – food, toys, tears, sweat and probably some urine.  There were a lot of tears.

But then after their ideal Sunday I thought, “maybe the kids have turned a corner?”  Maybe they are learning to enjoy the routine we’ve discovered in our new neighborhood?  I woke up this Monday morning full of hope.

Maybe I’m a naive dope of a mother.

Look at these two. They are certainly plotting my destruction.

“Wait, don’t let her see us smiling,” they conspire.

Does this happen in your house too?  Do your kids save the really evil stuff for mommy and act like perfect angels with another family member?

“Victory! She is cracking – asking strangers on the internet for help!”

If you enjoyed this post, please click on the juggling woman below. A click = a vote for me. How easy is that??
Vote For Use @ Top Mommy Blogs

The truth about “no bathroom privacy”: what really happens in the bathroom once you have kids

Everyone warns you that you won’t have any privacy in the bathroom once you have children, but no one talks about what that actually means.  Some of you expectant mothers might envision a door semi-ajar as you leave your angels playing with blocks in the adjoining room.  You think you might even have a visitor just as you are finishing your tinkle and you will wisely take this moment to teach them good washing practices.

You’d be WRONG.

Will it ever be just you and me again?

  • You will nurse while sitting atop the porcelain throne.  We don’t even talk about how the wiping gets done in these situations.  Not even on this blog.   It’s just survival.
  • You will endure not only your own personal surprise but the shock of others when you unexpectedly get your period a little early.  Questions will shoot from their small mouths like shells from an Uzi.  “Why is there blood?!”  “Mommy, are you bleeding?”!  “Are you hurt?”  “OH, UH, GOOOOO!”  (that last one is from my grunting 17-month old daughter, but I am pretty sure it can be interpreted as “Is that shit gonna happen to me too?”)
  • You will have multiple little people pointing as you attempt to apply a maxi-pad.  A step-by-step lesson will be required if it has wings.

“What is that? Why are you putting in there? Can it fly? I want one in my underwear!” -shouts from the peanut gallery

  • You will be inserting your Nuvaring when the door bursts open and Lego-gate ’12 unfolds in front of your eyes.
  • You will read “Hand Hand Fingers Thumb” aloud while dropping a deuce.  Your child will be sitting on your lap.
  • If, like me, you teach your kids to go potty in a plastic crapper, you will experience tandem dumping.  You will resist for a long time, but when your son sits there for what feels like hours (“I’m not done yet I said!”) and insists you keep him company, you begin to see the efficiency.

This could take hours honey. Don’t worry, your bowels will get on his schedule just like your boobs, your appetite and your sleep.

  • You will be reaping the benefits of your morning coffee when everyone in the house decides that is the exact moment they need to brush their teeth.
  • You will be forced to defend yourself to the sudden intruder’s “what’s that smell?” query.  Try not to answer “carnitas” if you take them to Chipotle the next day.  They will remember.  They will repeat.

I let you off the hook with the logo here. Do an image search for “carnitas” right now. I dare you.

What has surprised you about the “no privacy in the bathroom” situation?

If you enjoyed this post, please click on the juggling woman below. A click = a vote for me. How easy is that??
Vote For Use @ Top Mommy Blogs

Speed Crazy

Gavin’s whims come and go with each sunset.  Last week he wanted strawberries for every meal.  This week he’s appalled if I even suggest them for a snack.  Yesterday, his orange Crocs were the only shoes his feet would accept.  Today, he whipped them across the room when I set them out for him.

So when we moved to our new apartment and he took an interest in The Speed Channel, one of our new cable stations, I thought nothing of it.

That was two months ago.

His obsession with this network has not only stuck, but intensified.  We watch Nascar, Indy Car, stock cars, funny cars, and Monster Jam.  Did you know the Speed Channel has a game show?  It’s called Pass Time.  I’VE SEEN EVERY EPISODE EVER FILMED.

Can someone save me?  I’m this close to giving myself the “Miley” ‘do using mild insanity with a dash of rage rather than scissors.

Lesson learned:  don’t write a post about how much I love being home on a Tuesday.  Thursday is a whole different scene.

She doesn’t even watch TV, she’s just mocking me.

Do your kids have obsessions that make you insane?  How do you cope?  And when will it stop??

If you enjoyed this post, please click on the juggling woman below. A click = a vote for me. How easy is that??
Vote For Use @ Top Mommy Blogs

At Home: the first SAHM weeks after working-mom life

As a stay-at-home mom, the days can be tedious and repetitive.  There’s the morning “activity period”, naptime for one of my kids and “quiet time” for the other, an evening “activity period”, dinnertime and bedtime.  Every day.  Motherhood can feel like a single scene caught in an endless loop.  “I’m hungry!” is usually the scene theme.

After 15 months of my full-time job, my memories of the SAHM life have proven accurate.  For nearly two weeks I’ve been back in my role as the full-time caregiver.  There’s lots of crying, ‘mommymommymommmymommy’ shouting, and fighting over toys.  There’s zero privacy, no meals of my own, and little space to write.

There has also been a whole lot of life to live.  We’ve made daily trips to the playground, ate lots of pizza, and played for hours in their circus tent.  It’s been the kind of new, exciting, lazy summer fun you think only exists on television.  Over the next few months I do hope to find a new routine.  Gavin will start school and I will once again be compelled to pour my soul out on paper.  For now, even with the lack of structure, the comfort of one another’s company is enough to keep us content.   Everything feels new.

When you are with your kids all day every day, you notice even the smallest changes.  I see C’s crazy streak has been tempered.  She is quick to grab my hand or ask for help when she’s beyond her limits.  Don’t misunderstand me: she’s still climbing ladders that my 3yo is scared to even approach, but she seems to be more aware of her own limits rather than jumping head first into every single step.  I see Gavin stretching beyond his comfort zones.  With mommy watching, he climbs to new heights, he jumps without needing to hold my hand, and he talks to other children without needing a prompt.

As for me, I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.  It’s been a struggle to explain why I left an ideal job.  It’s been a struggle to identify my future career path.  It’s been a struggle to look women that I respect in the eye and tell them “working full-time out of the house is simply too much time away from my young children.”  It’s been hard to see the judgment in their faces.

Yet, even with these external struggles, I feel more content than even my best day on the job.  Words cannot capture what feels right in my heart, especially when it makes no sense on paper.  My fears, my worries, my bad days — they haven’t disappeared, but, with my children and my family, I have the confidence to know we can handle whatever comes at us, financially, emotionally, physically.

I am at home and it feels that way.

Of course, always having snacks helps make a happy family

If you enjoyed this post, please click on the juggling woman below. A click = a vote for me. How easy is that??
Vote For Use @ Top Mommy Blogs