Sunday Night Crock Pot Of Thoughts

Full disclosure: I don’t own a crock-pot, but I have eaten beef stew from one and I just can’t comprehend what happens in those things.  Delicious ingredients go in, mingle together for awhile, and then come out completely unidentifiable and tasteless.  What happens in that crock-pot?, I wonder.  Well, this weekend my mind was the crock-pot.  The past few days have been an insane jumbled mess of things that when stewed together is mushy and not so pretty but when I think about each ingredient, it seems like some good stuff.  What happens in my crazy brain?, I wonder.

Still have no idea what I’m talking about?  Don’t worry, neither do I.  So let’s try a list of lessons learned this maddeningly event-filled weekend ranked from, “hey, that happens to everyone” to “if mental illness was contagious I’d have to stop reading this blog now”:

1.  Your son, who demands pizza for dinner no less than four days a week at home, refuses to eat the pizza provided at any birthday party.  WTH?  It’s pizza, boy!

2.  Your concern over your daughter’s adorable obsession with Jake and the Neverland Pirates will escalate to new heights when she begins referring to herself as “ho-ho.”  Shouldn’t I just be happy it’s not some princess show?

3.  When something good happens to you – like being accepted for publication in a major periodical – everyone will be excited and happy for you until they read the depressing piece about the ugly fights you have with your husband.

4.  When something bad happens to you – like the boss from the job you quit six months ago calls and maybe possibly offers your old job back on a part time basis just like you requested before you left – everyone will think it’s actually a good thing and be very confused by you sobbing in your hands and saying, “but what about my kids?…but what about my writing?”

5.  Even though you aren’t bipolar, Silver Linings Playbook will set off all sorts of triggers in your currently unstable mind.  You will think Jennifer Lawrence is painful to watch and the entire movie will simultaneously bore you and put you on edge for two hours straight.   Even the sugary sweet doubly predictable ending won’t make you feel better about the past two hours of quiet torture.  (Since this movie was nominated for 87 thousand awards this season in Hollywood, I take it I am truly alone on this sentiment.)

After some hours of stewing in these events, I realize – not for the first time in my life – I have a very different perspective from most normal people.**  Things I see as amazing, others find horrifying.  Things I see as tragic, other people tell me are a blessing and I should feel lucky.  And I see their points (except the HFPA giving the Golden Globe to Jennifer Lawrence) on a rational level in my brain, but emotionally I just don’t have the same gut feeling.   Everything feels very upside down and mushed together.   Just like some crock-pot stew.

Yum or yuck?

Or maybe – once again – it’s just me.

**On a positive note no one will argue with, I want to thank so many of my blogger friends for commenting on my Mommyish post from Friday.  You truly brightened up the community conversation!

22 thoughts on “Sunday Night Crock Pot Of Thoughts

  1. Love the way you put this rundown of things in your life making you feel ….off. You just need time to sort out right from wrong. Noone knows what is going to be right for you but they think they do. So just give yourself time to make the decisions you need to…oh and your not alone wasting time watching crappy movies…wasted an hour and a half last night on Paperboy (matthew mcconaughey, zac effron, nicole kidman). I’m still disturbed. Though not as disturbed as Magic Mike (ruined Mcconaughey for me for life.)

  2. First off , I just bought a crock-pot… Oh no is that really what happens?! I thought it was an easy way out.
    Life is like a box of chocolates …. but look at all the amazing choices you’ve made so far, you will do what’s right for you and I like that your outlook is different, it makes you, you!

    • Awww Kirsty, thank you! You are totally right too, I just have to roll with it the way I always have. The rest will fall into place. As for the crock-pot, I think they’ve come a long way since I Was a kid. You can definitely hold out hope!

  3. Oh crockpots. We have one but I don’t know how to use it. I adore this list do much and I identify with all of it , except the major publication part. Not a fan of that girl from SLP, and I probably won’t go see it tomorrow. I love your stew and just want more!!!

    • I am calling BS on your major publication part because I can think of two off the top of my head and others waiting in the wings.

      I’m suddenly very intrigued by real crock-pots (not just my crazy brain). I can’t believe so many people own them! I feel like I might be missing out.

  4. Lol, I have a crock pot and love it because it’s such an easy out for dinner. Throw everything in, leave for 6 hours, dinner is served. For the tastiness, it just depends on what you put in and the seasoning you use. Some people like a lot of seasoning and trying different flavors, I think that might be you as well. Maybe part of you feeling a little “off” right now is because what is pulling at your soul is just a little different from what others may see or think is the norm (like picking kids and writing over a big, corner office) but come on yoga teacher, you already know your path is not going to fit in the every day box – and that’s a good thing! Pour on the spices and seasoning :)

  5. I have been there. It means you are a complicated intelligent person, (and in the company of equally crazy a$$ed children.). I also do not understand the crockpot, but then again I have been “home” for 14 year and if I make a roast I slap it in the oven. I own a crockpot but its for parties and teacher appreciation potlucks. Sleep on it, discuss, slap it up here like you have done. You know what’s right for you.

  6. I have a job possibility coming up and I’m truly terrified that I’ll get it. Everyone who doesn’t know me well thinks this is a great thing. I think it’s the worst thing that’s happened to me in months. No one understands.

    Also, have you seen Homeland? The lead character is bipolar and when she starts to go off the deep end I almost couldn’t watch. Everyone else was like, oh yeah, that sucked. I was like, no, no, it didn’t just “suck” – it was incredibly painful to watch and I totally understood what she was going through and I was basically afraid that the same thing was going to happen to me. And everyone else was like, **cough, cough**, **ahem**, **change the subject**. Ugh.

    • I get it 100%. It’s a horrible thing to get a job offer that will go a long way to paying for rent and school tuition and organic food, because it devastatingly pulls you away from pursuing your passions. I am struggling with feeling pulled in those directions too. Here’s to sending you bad job offer mojo if you promise to send it back my way too.

      And I haven’t seen Homeland but from your description I totally get that too!

  7. You have to go with your initial response. Feelings of dread for returning to work is something that is just going to get worse if you do actually take the job. We have such a small window of cuteness with raising these monsters and the thought of being a stressed out employee that encourages the negative mood swings even more isn’t worth it. Money for organic food and saving is great but sometimes sacrifices like going to 5 different grocery stores is worth it than earning money to buy the convenient expensive stuff. And then paying for day care…

    I was offered 3 full time jobs in a week last summer from 3 different friends. Had I taken one I would have never started writing. Thank God I listened to my gut.

    It sucks what you are going through but you know whats best. Trust in your instincts.

  8. I have a crock pot. I love what I can make it do with just a few things dumped inside it. It’s like here, crock pot, here’re some things I like that I’d like you to make warm and tender and then 8 hours later the crock pot says here you are, lovely woman, here are your warm and tender things. Please to be enjoying. But. My mind is unlike my crock pot. Things get dumped in there and when the button is pushed or the plug plugged in JOBS BABIES DINNER DEATH MONEY. The crockpotization of my mind is neither warm nor tender.

    • Ha! That is exactly what’s in my mind crock-pot – JOBS BABIES DINNER DEATH MONEY. And maybe some WRITE, as in write more now bitch. Do it like your life depends on it! It’s not a fun place, the crock-pot of my mind…

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