I Can Finally Admit I’m Not Good At Being A Mom…Or At Least That’s The Story I Keep Hearing In My Head

Now that it’s over I can finally let you in on my big secret.  I’m not a fan of Mother’s Day.  There could be a lot of reasons for that — I don’t love being “celebrated”, I don’t love being forced to do things in the name of being “celebrated” when I really just want to go to a yoga class, or maybe because I feel torn as a mother and a daughter.  Or it might be because I’m super lazy and lame.

But if I am being honest, I probably don’t love Mother’s Day because the journey to motherhood has been a rocky road for me.  I struggled to get pregnant the first time, I was in the hospital with the “Royal Disease” (hyperemesis gravidarium) during my second pregnancy, and I flat-out sucked as a new mother with my first.  I couldn’t get him on a schedule, I couldn’t get him to stop crying unless he was being pushed around in a stroller, and I couldn’t get him to sleep…ever.

But that has changed.  I hit a stride when Gavin turned one and then a year later, Chloe was born as one of those mythical “easy babies,” so I haven’t really had a tough time as a mother in years.  Yet I still identify most with those first really hard months.

Today I have a feature up at Mommyish talking more about this strange feeling I just can’t shake.

I’m Convinced There Is No Comfort Zone In Parenting

Since suffering through that impossibly difficult first year with a challenging baby, I have never really allowed myself to get into a groove as a mother.  This isn’t a sob story about how kids constantly change and ruin your perfectly laid plans. I gave up those expectations years ago. I have learned to really go with the flow in practice. Yet in my mind, I find myself always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Four years and two kids later – despite many more good days than bad – I constantly wonder “when is it going to be like that again?”

Read more on Mommyish…

And don’t forget, I publish a news story with a parenting angle every weekday at 9:30am (today I’m jumping for joy over the fact that someone asked “that question” to a man).  Like the WTTM Facebook page here to get my newest news piece in your feed every morning.

5 thoughts on “I Can Finally Admit I’m Not Good At Being A Mom…Or At Least That’s The Story I Keep Hearing In My Head

  1. Love what you wrote at Mommyish but decided to leave me comment here :) Gavin sounds exactly like my son, seriously they may have some kind of cosmic, sleep battling bond. Except my son is already also captain of his very own debate team and he will debate everything and anything. That sounds nicer than argue, right? lol! After all his sleep issues, I have learned to relax and truly appreciate the times when things are good or he does sleep and all is calm but my husband has never really been able to relax about it. I do share your constant worries about the present and future though but I also think, it’s because we love and care so much and they need it anyway. I think the key is, not to let any of this take over completely and weigh you down. We have to have that space to breath and relax and let go, as difficult as it is sometimes. Being a mom is not for sissies, that’s for sure. T-shirt idea – haha! Awesome post Carinn!

  2. I loved this post and the one on Mommyish. That first year wasn’t dreamy for me either, and I totally, painfully, identify with the last few paragraphs on the mommyish post. I have it together for the most part also, but I worry about all those things, too. The upside is: we all obviously care enough to sweat it – that makes us good parents. I love your blog, and I agree with outlawmama: you are anything but lazy. Great post!
    PS thank you for only wearing yoga pants to yoga class haha

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