If you are new here, you’ll probably want to know a few things about me.

1.  Some highlights of my expired resume –

Once upon a time (this is not a fairytale)

I was a poly sci and communications double major at Boston College.

I was a real estate finance lawyer in New York City and Los Angeles.

I was a yoga teacher at a prestigious yoga studio.

I was a small business owner failure.

I was Vice President at a high yield debt fund.

I traded in six figures for sticky fingers, dirty diapers and lots of crying.  Clearly I prefer to get paid nothing for doing everything.

Now

I take great comfort in the quote “not all who wander are lost.”

I am exhausted.

I am enlightened.

I am disgusted.

I am amazed.

I am frustrated.

I am more in love than I ever thought possible.

I am a mom.

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2.  Some of my fundamental jokes thoughts on being a mother:

On a normal bad day, I feed my kids pizza for breakfast.

This ain’t the Boyscouts, you will be prepared for nothing.

Am I parenting upstream?

What to expect when you’re expecting: more panic attacks

Why I hate Halloween

Boobs and periods: it’s like 13 all over again.

Why I’m not like most moms

Teaching your children the difference between a need and a want

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3.  So if you are still with me, there is a chance we could be friends.  But before we go too far there is something you need to know.  About me.  And my name.  It’s Ca-Rinn, more like Corrine than Karen.  My name is not Karen.  Though lots of people call me Karen.  Sometimes because they don’t know better, sometimes because they like to annoy me or sometimes because they like to think they are effing original by calling me ‘KAAAAREN, where’d you put the coke KAAAREN?’ (Goodfellas).  Cause I’ve never heard that before.  Ha ha.  So it’s Carinn, not Karen.  Or Miss Jackson if you’re Nasty.