WTTM Giuliana Rancic

Late last night when the news that the Rancic’s surrogate was in labor, I breathed a big sigh of relief.  Finally, a celebrity mother I could stomach!

This week has been full of some pretty grim “famous” baby “news”.

Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s ex-girlfriend is pregnant.  Who?  How am I supposed to feel about that?  Good for you for realizing an 80-year-old might not be your best shot at having a family?

And as adorable as those McConaughey children are, Camila pregnant again with a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old only gives people an easy segue into “so Carinn, now that Chloe is 18-months, are you thinking about another?”  Another what?  Another glass of wine?  Sure.  Oh you meant another baby?  Only if you’ll take the two I have now.

It was honestly looking like I would have to put Snooki on a pedestal – no, not so she could reach the kitchen counter, a metaphorical pedestal – for tweeting that she “loves nursing [her] little man” four days into his life.  Or showing us how she’s grown spiritually since becoming a mother with this gem, “#BreastPump insteada #FistPump.”  The Huffington Post even congratulated her for being a vocal breastfeeder saying “at a time when women are constantly being shamed for breastfeeding in public, it’s important to many nursing moms that public figures endorse the practice.”  I was about to take a sip of the Kool-Aid myself when you broke me of the crazy spell with news of Rancic labor via Twitter.

So thank you G, for sharing every bit of your heartbreaking journey with us; from your struggles with infertility, your experiences with IVF, your gratitude for the gestational carrier willing to bring your baby into this world.  You are what Welcome to the Motherhood is all about – putting a face to our modern-day mama struggles and letting so many of us know we aren’t alone in the rollercoaster that is the journey of motherhood.

Finally, Edward Duke Rancic entered the world last night at 7lbs 4oz.  Welcome to the Motherhood Giuliana!  Enjoy the ride.

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WTTM Jessica Simpson!

Jessica Simpson gave birth to daughter Max Johnson earlier this…

What?

She’s still pregnant?  Are you kidding me?

I’ve said it here before pregnancy is a long road. But Jessica really proves it.  Let’s recap the past 10 months:

 

In NYC on October 27 – visible bump

 

With the cat out of the bag, Jess thought this was a cute way to go public on Halloween

 

The fact that this hit newsstands in mid-March makes me think these photos were taken when she was about 30 weeks pregnant.  You think?

March 27. This was the bump Miss S was sporting at the time Elle was released…shopping in Beverly Hills

Looking serene, she finally ditched the skyscraper heels for some flip flops earlier this month

US Weekly is keeping close tabs on the situation and delivering important updates:

Jessica Simpson is due to give birth to a baby girl any day now, and rather than wishing for a flatter post-baby belly like most new moms, she’s more concerned about her lonely footwear collection.

“I can’t wait for the day I can walk in heels again! My feet feel homesick!” the pregnant star tweeted to her 4.9 million followers Tuesday.”

She’s opted instead for Havaianas flip-flops.

“I actually had to train myself to walk in them!”

As any good piece of investigative journalism does, reading this provoked a few thoughts:

1.  Jessica Simpson has 4.9 MILLION people who want to devour every 140 character morsel she doles out and I have to remind my husband to visit my blog.  Because a page view is a page view my friends.

2.  MOST new moms wish for a flatter post-baby belly?  Really?  They don’t wish the bleeding would end or the baby would stop crying or the night sweats would ease up just a bit?  I know I’m not normal, but I was always wishing I had a minute to brush my teeth.

3.  “I can’t wait for the day I can walk in heels again!” she exclaims, as if it’s right around the corner.  Honey, I’m still waiting.

Welcome – whenever it happens – to the Motherhood Jessica Simpson!  Enjoy the wild ride!

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WTTM Jennifer Garner!

Today I had two posts in mind — it was going to be either Gavin’s birth story or the harrowing results of his preschool admissions process.  Those will have to wait.

Last night I received the wonderful news (ok, not me personally, but through E! Online) that my soon-to-be BFF Jennifer Garner welcomed a boy into her brood! And on Gavin’s birthday no less!  See, we are getting closer to a real friendship every day.

Even though it’s not her first child, I want to welcome Jennifer Garner to the wonderful world of mommying a boy.  It’s a whole different world than the pretty pink one you’ve been living in my friend.  Get used to bruises, toy car crashes, and a whole new relationship with urine.

Let me tell you, those tiny fire-hoses spray everywhere.  During the diaper stage, it’s best to anticipate the projectile pee at every change.  Even with those nifty tee-pee things, expect to get a shot or two in the mouth.

I know I said I wanted to be a model, but this is not what I had in mind. I need a new agent. Where's Jerry Maguire?

During the potty stage, you know your face will be safe, but that’s all.  You will find pee on the seat, over the seat, under the seat, in the bathtub, in the bath toys and on the vanity.  Pretty much anywhere in the general vicinity of the bathroom is fair game.

Just be happy I'm actually in the bathroom.

You can also expect your son to love you in a way that a daughter can’t.  Your daughters will model you and need your help and guidance, but your son will cherish you and need you purely for love and comfort.

Welcome to the Motherhood of boys Jennifer Garner!  I eagerly await the release of your perfectly crafted baby name.

And if it’s Gavin, I may just have cause to have that restraining order reversed (who’s stalking who now?).

WTTM Beyonce!

Welcome to the world Blue Ivy!  The baby, not the florist in Chattanooga, TN.  Or the event planner in Boston, Mass who hit the jackpot and is now inundated with calls and emails from TMZ (I guess they forgot to google their baby’s name prior to announcing it).

I mean the one and only B.I.C – Blue Ivy Carter, daughter of Beyonce and Sean Carter (“Jay-Z”).

Blue Ivy is an interesting name you say?  Wondering how they came up with it?  Me too.  So here’s what I found:

“Sources and fans suggest the couple chose the name “Ivy” because of the number 4 or Roman numeral IV, which is significant in Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s relationship. Beyoncé’s birthday is Sept. 4, while Jay-Z’s is Dec. 4; they married on 4/4/08; they reportedly have matching “IV” tattoos on their wedding fingers; and Beyoncé named her latest album 4.  And the significance of the baby’s first name, Blue? Well, Jay-Z has three albums with the word “blueprint” in their titles: The Blueprint was released in 2001; The Blueprint 2: The Gift & The Curse, in 2002; and The Blueprint 3, in 2009.”

Though Jay-Z’s lyrics led us astray (“if we had a daughter, guess what I’m a call her Brooklyn Carter”), these two are no strangers to having names that mean something to them.  Jay chose his famous moniker after the subway line he grew up on – the Brooklyn bound J and Z.  Beyonce rose to fame in the group named after a page that fell open in the Bible as her mother pondered the perfect name for the girl group.  We should have expected something uber-symbolic from these two and they delivered.

Plus, I think “We-have-47-Grammys-between-us Carter” was probably too long.

Welcome to the Motherhood Beyonce!