Tag Archives: humor

More Truths About Pregnancy

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Recently a couple of celebrities have been talking about the not-so-wonderful aspects of pregnancy. And it made me want to puke. I know – that’s so shocking coming from me – the woman who reveals way too much about her prenatal and post-partum body. But it’s true. In the business of revealing “the truth”, some of them will be homeruns that everyone can understand and some of them will get you a face of disgust from the person across the table (or internet, as it may be).

I wrote a piece today at Mommyish revealing the “interesting” new truths from Drew Barrymore, Lisa Osbourne, and Snooki.

Do you relate or want to gag?

The Problem With Telling The Truth About Pregnancy

The Worst Place To Lose Your Keys

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You might think the worst place to lose your car keys would be down a drain, but then you would know they were gone in that instant, and you would move on to Plan B.

If you lost your car keys in a drain, you would not be looking frantically under your daughter’s butt because you just had them in your hand before you had to wrestle her into her seat.

And you wouldn’t have to then take her out of the seat you fought so hard to get her in, only to have her scream louder when you place her in the seat well in front of her brother while you stick your hand in every crevice of the Graco monster. Continue reading →

My Crib Hating Tyrant Used To Be A Great Sleeper

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I know some of you with younger babies aren’t going to want to hear this, but it’s true.  I had a baby who was a great sleeper, until she woke up one day and after two years decided that was it.  She has a crusade on her hands and it’s the fight against a good night’s sleep.  And I’m powerless.

Read more about our rediscovered sleep deprivation in my feature at Mommyish:

My Great Sleeper Is Suddenly A Crib Hating Tyrant

Has anyone been through this weird regression?  Nothing is out of the ordinary – no changes, no travel, no daylight savings, etc.  Will it pass?  My sanity needs to know.

Sibling Potty Training

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My kids love to do everything together.  They build bug castles out of blocks, read to each other, and dance side by side.  After three hours of separation while Gavin is at school, they embrace with a level of joy I reserve solely for cupcakes.  Their attachment knows no boundaries – not even the bathroom. Continue reading →

Book Fair Momfoolery

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Gavin’s school is holding its annual book fair this week.  I love a book fair.  Walking into a room or hallway transformed to display all sorts of stories exhilarates me.  In preschool you will find big pink books, small open-the-flap books, books that pop with color or sparkle.  I love every bit of it.  Or did.  Until this year when I was the victim of some book fair momfoolery.  What’s momfoolery?  Oh, that’s when you thought you had it all figured out, but your kid schools you in a major way. Continue reading →

Of Course My Kids Are Perfect

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I’ve been so busy running my mouth about writing and finding your identity in motherhood, not to mention the general mish-mosh stewing in my brain, that I haven’t said much about my kids lately.  You were beginning to think they were perfect, weren’t you?  Well, you’d almost be right.  They are preoccupied with their still-new-and-exciting Christmas toys, the cold weather is an invitation for all low energy activities, and my winter born children are far away from the half-birthday disequilibrium (as set forth by the amazing Louise Bates Ames) as possible.  It’s been as if my kids have transformed into real-life angels left over from the holiday season.

Until my daughter decided it was high time to raise some hell. Continue reading →

Just Wait Elizabeth Banks, Two Is So Much Better Than One

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All my life I had wanted a big family, 3 or 4 minimum.  That was before I experienced parenting first hand.  After the challenge of being a first time mother I was honestly thinking that might be it. Having one changed my mind on having more. Then you know what happened?  We had another.  Having two children is the most rewarding experience of my life.  Yes, it beats getting in to my first choice college, receiving my juris doctor, landing my dream job, and then leaving it to teach yoga.   All of that pales in comparison to seeing my two children interact on a daily basis.  Watching them share secrets, steal hugs, and laugh together is heartwarming beyond words.  Overhearing my know-it-all first-born try to explain potty etiquette, or math, or the minimum safety requirements for jumping on mommy and daddy’s bed – and watching his reckless baby sister take the time to really listen – makes me laugh, tear up, and swell with pride all at the same time.  For some people, having one child is the right choice.  But if you are on the fence and feeling overwhelmed by first time motherhood, I am here to tell you to go for it and don’t listen to what Elizabeth Banks is saying.

I wrote at length about this topic today on Mommyish:

I Could Barely Handle One Kid, But Two Is Easier

Welcome To Our Crazy Life

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Writing for Soleil Moon Frye’s blog delights me, not only because I was a fan of Punky Brewster, but because I am 100% behind anyone who calls their parenting book Happy Chaos.

Below is the first post I published on Moonfrye, giving a little background about how different my two children are and how zany we are as a family.

Welcome To Our Crazy Life

I spend most of my days with a three-year-old and a one-year-old so I know exactly what Soleil means when she named her parenting book Happy Chaos. Frankly, it describes my life perfectly.

My 3½ year old son started preschool this year but he was ready for his first lessons the minute his eyes could focus on the bright new world outside of the womb. He was born quiet, observant and lost in thought. Quickly we realized his mind was like a solar panel, absorbing everything around him – sounds, letters, words – and storing it all to be used later. He talks endlessly and has so many interesting questions. Seeing life filtered through his big brown eyes is nothing short of fascinating.

Read more at Moonfrye.com