I have so much to tell you about, I’m really not sure where to start. How about chronological order?
On Friday two of my favorite women, Christie of Outlaw Mama and Arnebya of What Now And Why acquiesced to my badgering and joined me in a Huffington Post Live conversation about the bizarre overpowering phenomenon to crave more babies (they were pretty darn vocal in my comments and on their own blogs so I dragged them in with me). I’ve pasted the player for the segment at the end of the post, if you want to check us out.
On Saturday my family attended our first with-kids wedding. It was beautiful, it was perfect, and it was so much fun.
Remember how happy I was that my son was SO not a spoiled little brat around Christmas time? Two months later, he apparently outgrew that wide-eyed wonder as evidenced by an event I’ll call “birthday party-gate 2013.” He opened all of his gifts in 7.2 seconds, he rudely discarded the ones he wasn’t excited about, and that night before bed he said he didn’t have any fun and wanted more presents.
What have I done? I cried.
And more important, what can I do about it? Continue reading
I’ve written about it here before, but a year later I am still struggling with nature vs. nurture in two ways. Mainly because I am starting to believe there is no such thing as nurture at all. My kids were born with complete personalities all their own and I find it hard to imagine that I influenced them in any way other than providing my DNA.
Second, they were born with completely opposite natures. Thanks, Mother Nature/Mother Hood for not throwing me a bone with two kids that are at least a tiny bit similar. I’d like to be able to apply the hard lessons I work out on the first child, to the second child, but you had other plans for me it seems.
Of course, they are still young, just one and three-years-old (even if this is the last week I can say that). So as they grow can I get my cautious son to be more bold? And can I temper my fearless daughter with just a touch of mindful awareness? If so, how? Because everything I do just seems to reinforce the way they already approach the world.
I’m exploring the topic I call “Parenting Upstream” over at Moonfrye today.
Although I am a full-fledged mama’s girl, I have always thought my dad was an amazing person. We have never had a “traditional” father/daughter relationship, but our connection is so deep and automatic, it sometimes feels like it began in another lifetime. On Moonfrye today I am recounting a night where I saw my father and my son. two people I hardly consider in roles apart from me, sharing their own special bond. And it totally made me cry.
In this moment I witness a different kind of love too: the one that my father gives to my son, his grandson. It’s different from the love the same man offered me, his daughter. More carefree perhaps. My parents were barely in their 20’s when they had me. Two years later my brother was born. They had nothing “figured out” – nor did they have time to ponder life goals and parenting philosophies with a family to support.
Read the whole story here: Not Always Perfect, But Always Together
I remark how different my two children are here often, but frankly, I never tire of finding new ways to contrast their differences. Night and day, yin and yang, black and white. Over on Moonfrye today, I add my latest metaphor: my kids as cat and dog.
I have a few single friends who insist their pets are their children. They get a lot of flack from mothers about that statement, but I am here to defend them. Kids are just like pets. And not just because you feed them daily, love them unconditionally, and dress them up to exploit them on Facebook. I mean they act like your favorite four-legged friends. Or at least my kids do.
Read more about my pets, er, kids here. Any guess which one is the sweet cuddly dog and which one is the smart but standoffish cat?